


A Life Worth Living

by kiwifruit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 8D, Assassin AU kind of, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Superpowers, much fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-06 08:59:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3128750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwifruit/pseuds/kiwifruit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is a dying boy with too many regrets. A month from his death, an organisation, Mitras, targets him in a final attempt to completely eradicate any remaining supernatural power from this world. Their top assassin was sent out - no mistake will be allowed. </p><p>But then Eren realises that he still has so much to live for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Wide emerald eyes stared unwavering, even as the muzzle of the black revolver was pressed hard into his temple. The boy gazed into the assassin’s stormy orbs, not threatening, but full of determination as though stubbornly fighting to see as much of this world as he could, even in the very end.  
But all Levi could do was stare back into the mesmerizing depths, wondering why his finger refused to pull the trigger – why he couldn’t bear for those green gems to be forever asleep in the depth of his skull.

And how strange it was that after the hundreds of deaths caused by Levi’s own two hands- he couldn’t kill this one single boy that was helplessly bound in a wheelchair.

“You’re not going to shoot me?” The boy questioned as he noticed the gun lowering from his head to rest at the assassin’s side.  
Levi didn’t say anything. His finger slid repeatedly over the smooth curve of the trigger, relishing the coolness of the metal.

What should he do?

He tore his gaze away from the entrancing green and turned on his heel, walking soundlessly back to the open window and stepping onto the edge. Looking down, he skimmed his eyes over the top of high-risers and looked up at the black sky, the yellow moon hidden behind thick, rolling clouds. The cool breeze that blew into the small room warned rain.  
“Wait.” The boy’s voice reached Levi’s ears, but he didn’t look around. “Who are you? What’s your name?”  
Levi didn’t answer. He heard the soft sounds of the wheelchair rolling towards him.  
“Is your name Levi?”  
Levi looked down at the gun he still held in his hand, and slid it back into his belt. “How do you know?” He asked quietly – the first words he had spoken in a while.  
“I don’t know. I can just see.”

There was a moment of silence where the only sounds heard were the distant hysterical screams of someone in another room and the quiet creaks of the window as it moved in the breeze. Levi took out a photo from his pocket and held it in one hand; the dim light of the hospital room just enough for him to see it properly. It flapped a little in the breeze, but he could make out a laughing boy, his eyes cracked open just enough to display the brilliant green orbs underneath.  
Turning the photo over, the name ‘Eren Jaeger’ was scribbled in the Reiss’s writing on the back.  
Levi took one last glance over his shoulder, burning the image of Eren into his mind, before leaping off the window ledge and landing silently on the roof of a nearby apartment. He melted into the darkness; his silver blue eyes the only thing visible.  
Eren didn’t stop him, but watched the black sky for a while afterwards. He watched as the first drops of rain fell, but couldn’t bring himself to close the window.  
“See you, Levi.” He whispered, but his soft voice was drowned behind the noise of the cascading rain.

He never closed the window again.

•≈•

“What do you mean you couldn’t kill him?” Reiss demanded as Levi stood silent. “This is the first time you’ve ever failed. Didn’t I tell you not to look into his eyes? His eyes have powers, Levi, they can control your mind-”  
“He didn’t fucking control my mind.” Levi retorted quietly, pushing the annoying raven strands out of his eyes so the water would stop dripping onto his face. “Can’t we forget about him?”  
“No, definitely not.” Reiss said, stroking his dark beard. “There are three remaining, and they are the most powerful.” He let out a forced chuckled then, his eyes turning into slits. “Then it’ll just be the guards left for me to slaughter… I’m trusting in you, Levi – kill that boy. His power is a threat.”  
Only a threat to you, you weakass ‘King’. The smaller man thought as he cast his eyes down to the floor where a puddle of rainwater had formed around him.  
“I’ll give you three days, Levi.” Reiss stated, turning away. “Get the job done.”

Levi took off his black gloves and stared at the palm of his hands, wondering how much more blood must be stained on them.

•≈•

 

Only a month.

Eren’s eyes fluttered open to the white ceiling above him. Always a plain, white ceiling. He hated that ceiling, greeting him every time he managed to open his eyes. He hated that everything in this room was white – the bed, the lights, and now even himself – his once sun-kissed skin was pale, blending in with the colours of the room.

But it would only be a month more of this.

In a month, his heart will no longer beat. The useless treatments will be over; the medicine will stop being wasted.

He wanted to think that it had been a good life, but it wasn’t. It never was.  
Was he fine that the curtains were going to close when nothing had ever played on stage?

He closed his eyes.

_Yes._

It wasn’t like a frail, crippled boy could ever do anything in life. Right? He was fine with it. He thought he’d accepted that a long time ago.

_Then why was he crying?_

Suddenly, he heard a soft clatter and opened his eyes to see a face peering down at him.  
“Holy fuck.” The brunette gasped as he quickly sat up, clutching at his heart that threatened to stop. He looked at the man – his face impassive as before, his sharp eyes flashing in the moonlight.

“Oh, it’s you.” Eren acknowledged, trying to get his breaths back in order while quickly wiping his tears away. “Well, you came back quickly.”

The black clad man casually sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at his hands. “Stop controlling my mind.” He said quietly, flexing his fingers before looking at the boy. Eren cocked his head, confused.

“I’m not.”

“Then why-” In the blink of an eye Levi had Eren pressed hard against the wall, a knife digging into the soft flesh of his neck. “Can’t I fucking kill you?”

“Uh,” The boy replied, “I don’t know?”

The raven glared hard at the boy for a lingering moment before he released his hold and sighed, watching Eren rub his neck with a grimace.

The room fell quiet; the only sounds heard were the creaking of the window and the beating of their hearts.

“Why do you want to kill me? Am I that annoying?”

“I just- I was ordered to.” Levi admitted, going back to staring at his hands. “I’ve killed nearly a thousand before you-”

“Don’t worry.” Eren waved him off casually. “I’ve killed a lot too.”

Levi glanced at him sideways. “Oh? How many?”

“Um, about three?”

Levi’s eyes widened momentarily before a throaty chuckle filled the room. Eren smiled. So he _can_ laugh.  
“Hey, what’s so funny?” The boy asked with false hurt, nudging him with a foot. Even that tiny movement had Eren grimacing at the pain that shot up through his body, and he noted in his mind to never do that again.  
“Nothing,” The man cleared his throat and stood up. Eren reached out and caught his arm as he walked back over to the open window, ignoring Levi’s frown as he flicked the hand away in disgust.  
“Levi, can you-” Eren gazed into the man’s cold blue eyes, “can you take me with you?”

The raven paused for a moment, surprised. “You want to die?”

“I’ve been dead all my life, Levi.” Eren replied, and Levi felt himself unable to look away from the fierceness burning inside those emerald orbs. “I want to live.”

For a moment, the two stared at the other – looked into the depth of each pair of eyes, searched deep and far to see that they had something in common.

They were both broken.

“Not bad.” Levi’s lips curled upwards before he leapt through the window once again. The sky wasn’t as dark as when he came in – there were rays of light illuminating the dark sky.

Levi caught himself smiling for the first time in a long, long while.


	2. Chapter 2

Levi came back the next night, and the night after and the one after that.

They began talking more. Sometimes they would talk about how the rain wouldn’t stop pouring and maybe the world will get submerged if things kept going at this rate, about how Eren used to own a cat that would fart every time she yawned – about anything, and everything. Anything but about their own lives.

Levi started noticing little things – like how Eren crinkled his nose when he laughed, how the same one tuft of his hair was always standing up, how his eyes seem to change colour depending on the light – from green, to gold, to blue.

Sometimes Eren wouldn’t be awake to greet him, and the raven would spend the night watching the boy sleep - sometimes peaceful, sometimes with furrowed brows and heavy breaths. In those moments, Levi would slip out his gun and feel its weight in his hand – solid and cold. He would wonder then, what the boy meant to him, why he meant so much - even from the very beginning.

He was still yet to find an answer. Maybe he never will.

A week went by, and the only change Levi had noted was that the boy’s face was getting paler and paler as days passed.

 

Then one night, he didn’t come.

That night, Eren stayed wide-awake, and he accepted it. He accepted the fact that everyone will, one day, give up on him. His father did, the doctors did, his mother.  
Levi will, too. One day. Maybe that day was now. Maybe it was tomorrow. Maybe it was in ten years.

The boy realised that it was time for him to give up as well. What was the point – holding onto something when everyone had let go, and that something was already fading from his grip anyway?

It was useless. Worthless.  
Just like his life.

That night, he accepted that the curtains will close without a thing having ever played on that bare, empty stage, whether he liked it or not.

And did it matter?  
No one was watching anyway.

•≈•

Levi pressed the phone to his ear.  
He waited.  
One ring.  
Two rings.  
And on the third ring, the phone was picked up and a low voice spoke. “Levi? It’s not like you to call me.”

“Mm.” Levi hummed, leaning back against the wall. “I’m quitting.”

“Oh?” The voice sounded more amused than surprised. “That’s also unlike you. Did something happen?”

“He’s going to start killing his guards, so I thought it’s time I left. The pay wasn’t bad though, but… yeah.”

There was silence on the other end for a moment, before a chuckling filled the line. “You have someone that’s caught your interest, huh?”

Levi’s eyes widened. “I do not-”

“That was Hanji’s theory. Anyway, you’re probably busy, right? I can smell the blood all the way from here.”

The raven smirked. “Yeah, I had to tidy up before I left.”

“Of course. Make sure you hide it well.”

“Actually, I want him to see it. It’s my farewell gift for that asshole Reiss.”

Erwin raised an eyebrow. “Oh? He’s going to love that.”

“I hope so. Anyway, I need to go. There’s a brat that wants me to show him the world.”

“Well it’s not going to be a very nice world if he sees it with you.”

Levi scoffed, “Yeah, later, asshole.”

He tapped the red circle on his phone before he heard a reply, and walked away from the room.  
He didn’t look back at the bodies littering the floor.

•≈•

Eren thanked the nurse as she packed up the syringe and left the room with a swift smile and the usual ‘good night, call us if you something happens’ speech. The lights were turned off, and the boy was left in darkness, rubbing the sore arm where the needle had been injected. He traced the faint scars on his arm where the same treatment had taken place, and wondered if they will ever go away.

The pain was getting worse and worse with each passing day.

The brunette sighed as he gave a final rub to his arm and lay down on the bed, feeling the ache in his heart every time it pushed blood around his body. He tried to ignore it – he knew he was already on the strongest legal painkiller.

He could feel himself dying, bit by bit, cell by cell.

He hugged onto his blankets and told himself to get over it. Sure, he was dying, but he’d known for a while now. And anyway – he’d been dying for a long time.

But each time he felt the stab of pain in his chest, felt that no strength would enter his legs – something built up inside of him. And along with it, something built up in his throat – choking it all down like the plug in a sink.

Normally, he’d just jam that plug in tighter and forget about it.

This time, he let it go.

First he just felt a burning in his eyes and warmth on his cheeks, but when he reached up and touched it, it came away wet.

From years of experience, he knew that crying wouldn’t do anything. All it did was make your eyes red and swollen in the morning, which was like putting a huge sign on your forehead that said: “I am fucking weak.”

But yes. He was weak.  
It was fine.

So Eren curled up into his sheets, and let the tears fall. He tried not to think that his life wasn’t worth living. He attempted to imagine of all the happy moments that made his life worth all the suffering he endured.

But there were none.

He frowned. What the fuck, there had to be something. What about that time they went to the beach? Or that time they went to a theme park-

Oh yeah, that’s right. It never happened.

But he knew that sometime in his life he had felt happy. So happy he almost forgot about his breaking body, about the monotonous life he had led.

Then he remembered-  
It was with Levi.

But Levi’s not going to come anymore. Eren scorned himself, kicking himself mentally. Get over it, you useless-

“Hey brat,” A soft voice reached him, and Eren froze in his thoughts. “You’re awake, right?”

“…Levi?” His voice cracked halfway, and Eren bit his lip before quickly wiping the tears off his face and dragging himself upright. “You came? Oh-” Fresh tears almost immediately replaced the other ones, and he frowned. “Sorry-”

A sob tore its way through his throat and he bit into his lip once more, this time tasting the metallic taste of blood. “I-I’m sorry-” He whispered, rubbing at his eyes as he felt his cheeks burning in embarrassment. What was he doing? This man in front of him was the only person that could change his worthless life, the only person that hasn’t given up on him yet. He shouldn’t be showing him how weak he is, he can’t know he was a wimpy, useless deadweight-

Suddenly, the boy felt warm arms wrap securely around his body, and he opened his eyes.

“Let it out.”

Eren furrowed his brows. “Huh? Levi, I’m fine-“

“Eren.” The stern voice shut the brunette up. “Cry. Fucking cry, and let it all out.”

Before Eren could protest any further he felt his bottom lip quiver, and before he even realized it burning tears were streaming down his cheeks and onto Levi’s shoulder and he buried his face in the side of the raven’s neck.

And he cried.

Levi tightened his hold on the heaving, shaking boy, his eyes staring at the whitewashed wall in front of him, his gloved hand rubbing gentle circles into his back. And he listened to the boy’s broken sobs, wondering what could have possibly caused this boy so much pain.

They remained in their position for a while longer until the brunette was finally reduced to little whimpers and hiccups, and with one final rub on his back Levi pushed him gently back onto the bed.

Eren opened his exhausted, swollen eyes and gazed up at the raven’s unusually soft ones. “…Levi.”

Levi pushed the soft strands out of the boy’s sleepy eyes. “Hmm?”

Eren opened his mouth, but then quickly shut it with a snap. A blush crept up his face at the words he was just about to say. “Sorry, n-nothing.” He apologised hesitantly, and turned to face the wall.

Levi smirked. “Right,” He said, ruffling Eren’s hair. “Just sleep. We’re leaving tomorrow night.”

The brunette’s eyes snapped open. “We are?” He exclaimed, before Levi clamped his hand over the boy’s mouth.

“Shut up. I told you to sleep.”

“…Sorry.” Eren apologized yet again, but his lips curved up into a smile. “Good night, Levi.” _I love you…_

“Yeah. ‘Night.”

 

Eren didn’t notice that the pain in his chest had disappeared before he closed his eyes and slipped into peaceful oblivion.

His dreams were pleasant for the first time in a while.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feat: dorks

 

Eren woke up smiling, but then he saw the time and his smile immediately flipped itself upside down.

 

 _Fuck_.

The clock’s letters glowed 7:23, and from the lack of bird noises outside, he wasn’t stupid enough to think it was 7 in the morning.

 

_How did I sleep though three meals and the nurse’s morning calls?_

 

Sighing, he pushed himself up, and reached beside him to open the drawer and rummage inside for a piece of paper and a pen. The least he could do was tell his sister and his mother that he would be fine; he would be safe.

 

To be honest, he didn’t really think they would care all that much. His hospital fees were huge, and with his father gone, it was all up to his mother to support the family.

Good riddance, she would think. He was never any help to the family, anyway.

 

Pushing that thought aside, he set the paper on the swinging hospital table and pulled it closer to himself and clicked his pen. He didn’t really know what to write, so he just went for it.

 

_To mum and Mikasa,_

 

Good start, he thought. Good start.

 

_I’m going to go be with this man who tried to kill me last week but he’s really nice. I’ll be fine._

Eren frowned, realised it would probably make them worry even more, and scribbled it out messily.

 

_Don’t worry, I’ve just gone to live._

That sounded like a suicide letter. He scribbled over it again.

 

_Hey, by the time you read this I’ll probably be somewhere far away with a really nice guy._

Kidnap letter. Scribbled out.

 

_I’m just going to be away for a little bit. Bye!_

 

Eren stared at it, scribbled it out and crumpled up the paper. Nope. This isn’t working at all.

 

“Being a bit violent there.” He heard a familiar voice, and he looked over to the window to see Levi sitting on the ledge, his legs dangling over. “Ready to go?”

 

“Um, yeah.” Eren replied, quickly taking out another piece of paper. “One sec. Also, I don’t have anything to change into because I’ve worn hospital gowns for the majority of my life now, but is that okay?”

 

Levi waved him off. “I’ve got some stuff you can wear.”

 

“Oh, alright, okay. I just have to write this.”

 

Eren looked down at his paper and scribbled something quickly down. Anything would do at this point, he decided. He folded the piece of paper up hastily and shoved it between the lamp and the bedside table.

 

“Okay, I’m good to go.” Eren grinned as he dragged himself to the edge of the bed. This was the first time he had ever felt that feeling of excitement that’s described endlessly in books – his chest felt like it was whirling round and round, his heart hammering amidst the chaos.

 

He was free. No more white ceilings, no more counting breaths.

Even if it was only at the very end.

•≈•

 

_Hey mum, hey Mikasa,_

_I know I’ve always been selfish, but I promise, this’ll be the last time._

_When I heard that my life was going to end in a month, I really didn’t want to waste my last days looking up at that disgustingly plain ceiling and count my breaths. That’s what I’ve done for most of my life, and I realised that if I don’t do something, that’s all I’ll ever do._

_So please don’t worry about me – I know I’ve caused you two enough trouble for a lifetime. You don’t need to search for me or anything like that because I promise, I’ll come back._

_And if I don’t – I’m sorry, and I love you._

_Bye for now,_

•≈•

 

“What? I have to fucking _carry_ you?” Levi grumbled, looking at the boy with judging eyes as he pocketed the box of painkillers Eren handed over to him.

 

“Oh, yeah sorry,” Eren replied apologetically, looking at his thin, useless legs. “Unless you want to carry my wheelchair too! That would be even better!”

 

“Okay okay, fine. Fuck it.” Levi mumbled as he scooped the boy easily up into his arms. A little _too_ easily. “I have a question. Do you get fed?”

 

The raven tossed Eren up a few times easily, ignoring the boy’s cries and laughs to stop.

 

“That’s rude. I weigh a good healthy forty kilos.” Eren snapped back.

 

“Forty- that’s not healthy.” Levi furrowed his brows as he hopped up onto the windowsill. “You need to eat. I’ll make you something.”

 

“Oh, you can cook- OH MY GOD.” Eren shrieked as Levi easily jumped off the ledge and onto the nearby apartment building. “Don’t just- oh my god.” The boy clutched onto the raven, breathing hard.

 

“You’re going to have to get used to it.” Levi said as he walked over to the edge of the building. He gazed down at the next apartment block – significantly shorter than the one he was standing on. “This one’s going to be bigger. Ready?”

 

“No I am _not_.” Eren panted, “And I never will be. God. Can’t we go down in a more civilized manner?”

 

“If you hold onto me I can scale down if you want-“

 

“ _NO_.” The brunette exclaimed, then sighed in exasperation. “There are things called _lifts_.”

 

Levi gave his trademark sideways glare. “We are _not_ ,” He said calmly, “using this apartment’s goddamn lift.”

 

“Yes we are! They have one for a reason!”

 

“It’s definitely not so that an assassin carrying a whiny child that everyone’s going to think he kidnapped can make his way down in a fucking ‘civilised manner’.”

 

“Levi, you’re being so fucking unreasonable!”

 

“Jesus Christ, a fucking nois a _fucking_ _no_!”

 

 

Ten minutes later, inside a rickety apartment lift, a man clad in black carrying a skinny brunette boy was awkwardly averting the curious gaze of a mother with her child.

 

“I didn’t think it was Halloween yet.” The mother spoke, checking the date on her phone.

 

“… Yeah… you’re right… it’s not.” Eren replied awkwardly. “Um. We’re just, you know…”

 

“Trying out our outfits.” Levi finished off. “Does it look alright?”

 

“Oh! Of course!” The woman laughed, “Yes, it looks absolutely wonderful! So realistic! For a moment I thought you, handsome man, had actually kidnapped the boy you’re holding!” She gave a giggle as a polite _ding_ rang, signalling the arrival. “How stupid of me! Well, if you’ll excuse me.”

 

She hustled out of the lift, holding onto her child’s hand. “You boys have fun!” She added with a smile and a wave, and Eren waved back with an awkward laugh and a ‘yeah… uh huh” before the doors finally closed.

 

As soon as they were left alone, Levi’s glare came drilling down into him, and Eren cowered behind his arms. “Don’t hurt me!” He squealed, “I didn’t think this would happen-“

 

“You _fucking_ -” Levi started, before sighing. “If I ‘ _accidentally’_ kicked a hole in this moving floor under us and ‘ _accidentally’_ chucked you down this elevator shaft, you can’t fucking complain.”

 

“No. I can’t.”

 

“If I fucking accidentally forget the fact that you can’t swim and accidentally drop you into the Atlantic Ocean, you _can’t fucking complain_.”

 

“… “

 

“What was that?”

 

“…No, I can’t.”

 

“Good.”

 

 _I’m sorry mum, Mikasa_ , Eren thought tearfully, _I don’t think I’m going to make it back after all._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I haven't written fanfiction in.... a very long time... so I'm not really sure if this is good enough to be posted hahhaha *sobs*. The idea still has a lot of work to do too, and it's probably going to be quite long. Anyway, please do tell me how you found it! Comments will be much appreciated!!!  
> Thanks :)


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